hmmmm....

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so like....

I am going to the gym soon, and i hope that when i come home kristinas online... gosh i havent talked to her in like 12849018590185 hours! so sad.... so lemmi tell you about my day. woke up took math star testing and guessed on like most of them and slept for 2 hours:] yay okay and then like at lunch i spent my whole lunch waiting in line to get prom tickets and filled out part of the date pass. umm then afterschool lets see...choir rehearsal til like 4:30 but 6ish for me cuz she took my fone and i wanted it back so i waited. then i went to el pollo loco for the free chicken! then yea now im home and theres nothing i want more then to talk to krisitna:'( but shes not here i called but shes not here! goshhhhhhhhh:'( imma go to the gym now.... bye! WAIT OMFG KRISTINAS ONLINE OKAY BYE

:]]]]]]]

yay kristina made my day by calling to say gnite OMFGGGG that made me like naijweghwuirjhaeiohjoi. gosh what more can i ask for! well yea okay anyways today i also found out kristina is going to dbhs prom. have fun!:] HAHA

jeric joel mofucking devela

musiq right now is rescuing my life. Gibberish~.
God. thanks.I.Love.you.Very.Much.

wind full of opportunities are rushing, gazing me with out a care.
Dreams.. are dreams, you are the one who has to work hard to make those dreams a reality, don't give up or those dreams will falter.

closing my eyes looking at the moon, thinking when we could ever fly? nothing is impossible we just have to find away. Opening doors to find my happiness to see if I am really happy. Closing the old to see if i need it or not. When will my life be content? why be passive, when passive people only brings misery and loneliness in your life. be more active be the one having fun with out a care. Think about your happiness first then others. your life is your life, r you living other peoples lives, or are they living in yours? think about it.


4 amigos.fnjj

-jeric joel mo fucking devela

days are just

FLYING. compared to before that is. before meaning before April 3rd of course. kay anyways today went pretty good. woke up at 10 cuz someones alert woke me up. nd then took nancy to church then came home talked to jj and then went back to sleep til like 3ish 4ish. talked to kristina:]]]]]]]] til she left. she left so fast:'( but its okay at least i talked to her! well yea i went to bffes house ate and did homework there. then after that i watched futurama til like idk with cindy and like then got jack in the box for the like 12040931250 time this week. shit im gettin fat. more gym more sixpack i hope! i really wanna impress her. OH YEA IMMA FUCKIN START RAVING. yEAUHHHHHHHHHH! haha kay um imma go to sleep unless i hear a cashregister sound or i hear her ringtone go off! gnite! sweet dreams mks. goodbye to everyone else

(oh yea why april 3rd? its cuz i met kristina that day:])

how can i say this..without sounding to happy?

okay so like kristina said yes to go to prom with me[frank tsaur; the luckiest guy in the world of course!] well yea:] i asked in the lamest way possible. sorry! well yea yesturday was a good day. yesturday being 2 days ago actually. um again, i hung out with kristina at my house the whole time. gosh i know it sounds boring but its actually the best time of my life:]] kay well i really really hope to hang out with kristina soon again.

tomorrow is the day

so many feelings describe tomorrow. happyness,luck,excitement, nervousness, flutterbys! gosh tomorrow is going to be great:] i hope she will have more fun then I; but i really doubt thats possible! i cant help thinking of kristina! its so like addicting? HAH thinking about her makes me happy,talking to her makes me happy, hanging outw ith her makes me most happy:]]]]]]] yay okay so tomororw heres the plan: starbucks,movies,my house! franktsaur....prepare for the best day of your life!

HA HA HA...

jeric dont even think for a moment imma letchu off tha easily. the things you do for me are way more then i can ever do for you! you make me so happy. you encourage me on everything i do. i learn from you alot. you are my brother and i love you so much. i love the times we have the talks about everything in the world from what were gonna do in the future to girls to being scared of anything! lmfao you just texted me right now "wanna go to gmr" well yea like i love you sooooo so much, and no matter what happens i will always be there for you. sorry for all the things i do that pisses you off like the countless guilt trips i gave:] kinda fun but sorry! ignoring you in the past for stupid shit. and yea my bad! but you are family, and family is forever:] when we are sixty; yea you read that, fuckin sixty. we will still be chillin hopefully with our wives by our side:] whoever that may be! im just happy i have you. gnite brother:] see you soon ill pick you up haha.
ps- hi maria kristina sia:] i miss you

To my superman.

I believe there is one superman in everyone's life. We might not know who it is until in the end, when its too late to thank them. But sometimes people get's lucky and realizes who their superman is early. I was one of the lucky ones. Thanks, my brother, my friend, and the person that saves my ass alot.I hated it when we got close because you might leave, i hated it when you treated me like a king, i hated it when you tell me all these comments that flattered my heart. Thanks for everything you've done for me. I now i know you wont ever leave. I'm sorry that your stuck here with me, but at least I'm thankful that you are here.

life

is good, almost too good. everythings been going the way i wanted almost. but like for the most important stuff. it is! like kristina:] gosh i feel stupid always saying these things like how shes so talented and pretty and all those good stuff; but i cant help but say it all the time cuz its true!but the truely weird thing is its hard to get her off my mind. like starting from an unconcious state of sleep i start thinking about her as dreams, when i wake up in the morning happy i think about her. when im bored i wish she was there to talk to. When i eat i wish she was there to try some of the good fukin food. i look forward to going home to talk to her or to call her. or when im out i always keep hoping she calls so i can ditch everything thats happening just to talk to her:] gosh okay everythings goin so perfectly! oh but today my family left for china:'( my mom dad sister. who i will miss alot! um oh yea today i also learned that the shoes i bought[for myself] arnt good cuz i noticed i already got shoes! so i needa return it..i think and think of a new way of asking the big ?. gosh im scared but also excited:] well the other bad parts dont even involve me but it involves someone very special, she has aches on her leg and back and TONGUE? but yea ill help or attempt to when isee her:] HAH okay yea well i hope kristina has a goooood night sleep today and all the other days to come! gnite!!!! sweet dreams
ps- im not gonna sign on or call today cuz like dont wanna bug you maria sia gnite!

heres my day.

school same thing everyday--hot as fuck, got in trouble for showing too much skin. slept in class. dreams dreams dreams. after school i went to taco express nd got some bombassssssssssssssss burritos:] um yea like after that i waited for jeric so we can go to brea to buy my shoes. um yea after liek 3 hours we left for home and got home at aroudn 6? then emily my lil freakin sister had to be a secret spiller and tell kristina whatever secret i told her:'( gosh.. kay well whatever idcare then like we talked and i went to the gym and worked my ass offf! yea now im home and showered and such. nd kristinas not picking up her fone so i left a voicemail hoping one day she'll listen to it and be happy. oh did i mention my room is even darker now cuz 2 of my light bulbs went out and the remaining 3 lights are power saving lights. so like yea its pretty dim and gloomy! well i might sneak out with jeric later at around 12? if he really does sneak out that is. kay gnite anyone who reads this!
kant wait til F day!

kay so like

today went like this. woke up with jj talked to jj,left to nicks house.which he was sleeping, so we left to cindys went to get jackin the box, chinatown bought some knives, went to target bought a knife sharpener. went to my old house in rowland ate china buffet. talked to kristina,saw iris at the buffet got full as fuck, go back to rowland drop off cin, go buy food from vons for my sons, cvs for jj, dropped off jj and chilled there for like 30 mins, left to home. when i got home heres where the fun starts. kristina finally called after like what 30 minutes of seraching for her charger? which she didnt find! oh yea wait i forgot about the fact that after target we went to puente to go watch a movie but we didnt at the end cause yea i watned to buy soemthing for someone and i wanna watch movies with someone else:] HAHA kay anyways um yea my mommy told me things. and yea now kristina left idk what to do cuz my h0uuse is pretty boring. i guess imma just sleep! gnite kristina and anyone who reads this pointless thingy:] have fun at school tomorrow!

frank tsaur speaking:

kay so today was okay. just okay. woke up and didnt do anything as planned. no china town. no hanging out with paul. but instead i hung out with cindy starting at like 3-4ish. it was so hot omfg. i ate japanese food wit cindy,christie,and matt. i went back to their house nd knocked the fukkkkk out. um got woken up by jerics fone call. and then i went to go get a drink [mountain dew; which makes me lose some sperm:'( sad.sorry my babys] then i picked up jeric. and did nothing for the rest of the night at my house. oh yea i went to dennys around 12 ish? yea fuckin bombassss meatlovers scramble. then um back to my house after i dropped off jeric. then chilled there til 2:30 and took cindy home after long depressign talkin! and now im just tryna stay awake cuz i gotta wait for jj so i can pick him up again..hope i dont get caught! um well yea i forgot to say a few things...


the reason this day was only okay and not great like all the other days was because i didnt talk to mks as much as i wanted! but its coo cuz we can always talk more later. my sister had fun talking to her! so tahts good. well gnite kristina hope we can tlak more and more and hang out more nd more! HAHA kay have fun tomorrow at disneyland! dont ride too many rides over cuz then youll get sick again nd this time ill have to like bring you soup to make you efel better: ] kay gnite! bye miss yah

take it in and let it out

Sunday, 25 January 2009
Confusion is nothing new

Feels like the more I know, the less I really understand. You got me spinning in circles, I'd hate to admit it but life is hard enough, yes for the record you did make it a whole lot better for the time being. Don't make promises you can't keep. I don't want to compete no more, can't we just live our lives as they come with no one to feel next to or competition at all? I'm not asking for anymore of you, just that you tell me the truth..Truth is hard to swallow, no matter the shadiest cause I'm stronger than you think. You say one thing but you turn around to do another. You tell me that if we trusted each other with all our hearts that there would be no such doubt. Then please babe, stop givin' me reasons to think otherwise. I don't want to blend in, when times are hard I don't/will never think about having someone new on the side, you know that. It's compromise that moves us along, but without trust we have nothing. I could be in love with you but you wouldn't believe it. Feels like we're back at square one, trying to remember that it's me and you again for a reason and this time we're working infinity times harder to keep it this way.

Yes?

I think you are the one doing these.

1. Don't make promises you can't keep.

2.You say one thing but you turn around to do another.

-----------------------------------------------------------

tell me now. Have i ever broken a promise? have i Ever say one thing and do something else?
its all you.. believe it or not im still here, here since the first promise i gave you. Same feelings, same person, no change.


your the one who got me spinning in circles. I'm not asking for anymore of you, just that you tell me the truth..Truth is hard to swallow, no matter the shadiest cause I'm stronger than you think. I told you that if we trusted each other with all our hearts that there would be no such doubt.trying to remember that it's me and you again for a reason and this time I'M working infinity times harder to keep it this way.

and that was from your own blog.

I need you but wth am i trying to prove now? Haven't i proved enough?
lets fix our problems please. please dont take off my bracelet

hello:]

aite so like today. or yesturday was another great day. how many more will i have? well i know this for sure...as long as kristina keeps talking to me and hanging out with me it wont stop! HAHA kay so like everyday is goin so perfectly and now i just cant wait til the next time we hang out. i cant even like wait to sleep so i can wake up to her call! like i never thought i can be so lucky! does someone like me really deserve someone like her>?! :] gosh well i never really look forward to sleeping on a weekend but i actually am just so i can like dream one of my wonderful dreams that hopefully will come true, then wake up to kristina calling me and hearing her cute voice in the morning! HAHA wow okay im lame but i cant help it. i was born like this. born a loner and a weirdo. gnite kristina! :] <3

:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

school sucked. after school was good:] i picked up kristina and went to my house and we basically did nothing! HAHA but it was the best time of my life like okay she was so cute! even tho she like refused to liek dance and all the other things..wow i just rememered she promised she'll play the piano for me but she didnt! WTFUHHHHHHHH? HAHA its coo:] im happy and yea everyone including my family keeps teasin me about her! haha well yea like hopefully one day i can do whta i wanna do:] umokay gnite tomorrow will be jsut as great or even like better! im so excited AHHHHHHHAEhkerophkoka kay thank you kristina for this wonderful feeling you give me! flutterbys,huge nonstop smiles and endless happyness:] HAHA gnite!

mixed signals.

What are you trying to prove?



you should look in my point of view of how much i try.
look on how much have faith.
look and you maybe will see what its like to be me.

today.

wasnt as good as yesturday or the few days before. because i got in trouble at school,have alota homework, am tired as hell. but most importantly is because i didnt talk to kristina as much as i wanted:'( gosh. but on the very very bright side. tomorrow is also the day i get to see kristina right after school! :] how exciting! hahaha well i hope she has a good night sleep and have sweet dreams! kay bye gnite.

oh and um like today my mom asked me what i am doing tomorrow and like i was like hanging out with this girl and shes like oh who? and i was like umm... HAH and she was liek tell me or im not gonna let you go! and i was like omg shes kristina! and she was like i never heard of her...i was like yea you never met her yet. and shes like oooh...and she was like all questioning me about her...and like yea hahaha i told her what i thought about her and stuff and yea now she wants to meet kristina HAHAH
ps-hi kristina:]
psps- im not gonna do my homework..fuck imma just copy all of it otmorrow

I need you, i want you, i love you.

I've been saying these words ever since. Never changing, Never leaving, Never ever giving up. I never knew where my limits were or if I even have limits. I always looked for the goal and sooner or later I was there. I felt like I was invincible, I can't ever get put down. I always only thought about your happiness or how the future will end up. Never listening to your pessimistic acts, or how you always say the future cannot be seen. I hated how you think, but I love you as a person. I went out of my ways just to show you that i love you or how I'm always gonna stick by your side. I guess i didn't show it enough, or i said it too much? I want and need to be with you. I dont want to think because it all leads to a pit where i cant get out of the hole. I just want my heart and my body to lead me to what makes me happy, and its leading me to you. please stay with me, hold my hand like you said, and share with me the future that we cannot see.

please dont take off my bracelet it makes me happy when i see you wear it

isnt it everything i do just for you to show you i care?
I know your an independent person, but sometimes you just have to accept it even when you know you can do it urself. Atleast you know they care. I'm here still keeping my promises 150%
in the future or maybe never if you ever tell me you love me I'm still gonna try my hardest no matter what happens. It's not for pity, its not for anyone else but me and you.

another day that went perfectly.

Well..not completely perfect but it sure felt liek it near the end of the day! woke up at around 7 without having a dream! wtheck. but yea the day passed just as it used to be. boring and textless! hahah but yea after school was good tho cuz i talked someone on the fone while i was waiting to get picked up by jeric:P haha yea it was kristina! and she kept me company while i was all alone. gosh shemakes me happy:) um well like when jj took me home we had like a minature feast. cereal,cold hotpcokets, hot hot pcokets, bagel bites, milano chocolate cookies,milk, dumplings. yea after that i did my homework with my cousin paul thanks for tuturing me and then otuta nowhere i hear this cash register sound and i get realy happy cuz its kristina! HAHA then my cousin imed her and said ily HAHA. and yea after that um i fell asleep watching i shouldnt be alive. and hercules came on and i started like daydreaming and yea. okay then after that i wetn to school to get my sweater form the locker /w my moms merc. yay i get my car back tomorrow. kay anyways here comes the best part i go home shower AGAIN! just so im all squeeky clean for her:) hahah um after that i went to life to see kristina! and i met her best friend for a week named jade. shes cool. doesnt talk alot but yea shes cool. um kristina doesnt wanna speak french infront of me idk why but yea. so like after we were about to leave life nd like i got a hug from her:] best hug ever! the wings were like flappin in my tummy. stupid flutterbys:] HAHA kay anyways like i was driving home and got a call from kristina and that made me smile even more then i was. gosh oh i forgot to mention that on the way to life cindy saw me and call me! hahah kay anyways um yea i got home. talked to kristina on the fone :] and yea now shes gone to bed and i hope she has a good sleep and a sweet dream! hahah thanks for all the perverted funny things kristina! gnite bye:]
ps- EVEN JADE THINKS YOUR SUPER PRETTY!!!

what i gots.

life is like a road, the light is always there! Dont think of it as a tunnel where it is creepy and cold,where you have to chase the end to get to the light. Think negative, it will end negative.


I learned many things these past months. If i want it , i can get it.. but i just have to work for it no matter how hard it will be. It's worth it and pretty fulfilling because you know u can get it, if u work/hope for it till the very end. I literally forgot how to smile, now its coming back to me with just a help of family.( family doesnt have to be blood)


Fact: True, I'm going to miss you. I'll still be here the same status and same title that we are now. But I know for sure that you wont have time for me, at least were both happy on what we got. I wont ever change my mind, or break the promises that i gave, maybe I am an idiot but heck its worth it for what i know.. YOUR REALITY aint got shit with my REALITY. you guys think over the top that it always go down hill, we cant see the future so just give up. No, i know you cant see the future but fuck.. has anyone ever told u guys you can control it. Its your life whos the boss? you or everyone else around u.. please dont leave me =D


ps. frank hope you have fun today you lucky champ

:]

kay so um today was a great day. I dreamed about kristina and woke up all happy. As a result the impossible happened. My choir teacher was happy at me for doing so well as well as the instructor. Then in weight training i was talking about kristina to my friend and right after she texted me! gosh i was happy:] so happy in fact that i bragged to my other friends cuz i think it was bragworthy. so yea i pooped next to justin and touched this gross shit and got ball tapped but that was the only bad thing that happened the whole day! well after that like i chilled nd chilled nd chilled til night time. but yea the highlights of the day was definetely talking to kristina on aim cuz she doesnt pick up my calls but its okay:] HAHA gnite.
ps-tomorrow should be like the most exciting thing ever cuz i get to hang out with kristina and this french girl thats gonna be kristinas best friend for a week! and hopefully like i get to hang out with kristina more often this weekend and all the other ones too. hopefully dream come true! HAHAH :]

no matter

you cant hurt me, no one can... i am invincible in my own my seeing through everything and everyone. Trust me, believe me, ill show u, no one can hurt the fact that i am what i am. Do what your hearts telling u. that is the true answer.

kay so....heres whats crackin

-laserr tag (THIRD PLACE NIGGA)
-chillin with friends
-missing some people who dgaf
-dota
-missing my car
-and saving the best for last:) talking to kristina and hoping to hang out with her soon

D.O.N.E

I say what I say and do what I have to do. No More Peer Pressure. I'm Clean.
what to do, what to say, what will I become? I D G A F Anymore. I just need my musiq. I dont care, I dont give a fuck, Just pass on. I need to be back to the group where I belong =D. Smile's

Finally the group is alive =]


fuck all yall.
fuck the world.
fuck everyone.

its just me and my crew facing the world xD





ps. wanna join my mafia? fill out an application! SIKE 7 amigos

time for jj to dgaf

hey brother =D gewd luck with kristina i read what u wrote a few days ago =] glad

wow.

Fading away. better? or Worse? I think its going bad, but i gotta go back where i used to be. take a deep breath close ur eyes and think of what i've becom. this is not my style.


rehab to be who i was =D Smile niggah =D ill come back for you i swear. and im sorry. for everything i caused im really sorry

:]

i dont mean to brag but sorry i cant help it. yesturday was soo fun! like it was kristinas bday and yea we like ate and walked around and stuff but the best part wasnt even those things. it was when i finally talked to kristina:) hahah some parts were kinda weird but only cuz like PEOPLE KEPT SAYING THINGS. but now its all good i think im getting used to it! so like yea this is going goooood. i promise things wont get like awkward anymore:] byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

kay so like.......

these past few days (even tho i stayed at home) were like the best cause i keep talkin to this girl named maria kristina sia. HAHA um yea she makes me laugh so much and smile retardedly to the computer. And she signs off randomly and i get sad and get nightmares about her but its oaky! and um yea its almost her bday and i hope to see her there tomorrow and her to be happy and not tob e ditched by bday girl! BYEEE
ps~hi jeric if you read this

selfish? greedy? happiness?

What the fuck does this all mean? believing in the good of people? Thats what i did, i tried to follow what was going on in your head but in the end, it all leads to a manipulating, indecisive, emotional person that is trying to break us apart. I am not being recklessly stupid because i actually put an effort in know and how kind hearted this person is. I tried, believe me I really tried.. the more i see him, the more i know him, the more i get fooled and lose hope in him. I really do mind u go out and hang with him, i really do.. because my gut feelings are always right. Im not being selfish or anything but i actually thought about it for a while and now its all up to u.