promises

I don't think I will make it in time. Enuff Said

mind set.

Another bump on the road where the edges are filled with cuts and bruises, where it is too late to ever turn back. But why would I ever turn back? When those cuts and bruises are only a temporary feeling of pain. In reality My life is.. how can I say this. Splendid.

I swear, I wanted to cry. I really did. Did I lose that emotion because of a certain state of mind where I hold a grudge and never ever want to let go. Why would I ever want to let go of it when it made me this strong? It showed me to never give up and to live a life where you are invincible. I felt sick, with full of remorse. Forgiveness is always in my heart no matter how dark and gruesome my heart is. For you I will, forever be in debt.


ps. 4 months =] thanks babee.

grown up?

I didn't know when I grew up or if I was even able to grow up. I was always afraid of growing old. But what was I to be afraid of in the first place? Being older means being wiser, being more sophisticated, and being more mature.... THATS ALL BULLFUCKITY SHIT FOLKS. ALL THIS IS BULLSHIT. It's your life live the way you want it to be. Don't ever act different to anyone because you want to get respected or to think your kewl. All that is a fawkin joke. The memories u will have wont even be the real you and you're wasting your time being some one else than rather being you self. If people doesnt like you, hell with it there are 81u038290389012839081290389012840 people in the world just have fun with it 

im forever in your debt.

Of course, of course. You're a good person in heart and in mind. You thought me things that i didnt know i could learn. The words i said to you I will never ever think about taking it back. Those words were for you and only you. I dont want the things to change now, Those were the past... Lets live our life to the fullest to see the surprises that will happen in the future. FOR ALL THE THINGS YOU THOUGHT ME AND THE EXPERIENCES WE WENT THROUGH TOGETHER., I am forever in your debt. Dont forget about me and always be mah friend =](or atleast try)

- jeric joel mofucking devela =]

gnite

i really hope soon all these misunderstandings go away. They not only make me sad but everyone involved. fejkokafowkgpk. im sorry for all of this. i really am. I Love Kristina and i will give up anything and everything for her. hopefully wednesday we go to Disneyland this time. but hopefully i see her before then. gnite baby. ily!

gnite

im so tired already idk why-_- my back hurts alot. and im outta shape! needa start doing what i said imma do. today i got to hang out with my love:] pretty happy! and thursday hopefully the date goes thru!:]]]]]]] gnite everyone

I hate

blogs now. tooo much misinterpretations -_- gosh but today i went to knotts with Kristina:]]]]]]] yay!.very spontaneous! as i said imma change my sleeping habits soon. run more and such. well im basically here right now to say a riddle; cause krisitna told me riddles and i KINDA liked them:]. pretty fun. okay anyways. here it goes: A woman was horrified to find a fly in her tea. The waiter took her cup and went into the kitchen and returned with a fresh cup of tea. She shouted, "You brought me the same tea!" How did she know?............betchu cant solve it!:]

:[

its only been 3 hours and im already breaking down, its worse then i ever thought. i miss you so much. efiwafopkwpogfkakpgfok and sorry i cant help but hate the 4. they ruined what we had. i love you so much

you have to let go...

im sorry cindy,vivian, melissa, and eunice but i wish i never met you guys. you guys ruined everything. now theres nothing to look forward to. you guys didnt do anything wrong but i cant find anyone else to blame. Mrs. Sia I dont know what i did wrong. Not knowingly be in the same house vivian was over? I tried to give them up. and i succeeded but not in your eyes. i dont know what to do anymore. your daughter is my world and to be honest, throughout all my life, ive known friends who do bad things. cindy vivian and them were just accused. sure they drank before. maybe even more. but not when im around. there is no point in stopping me from talking to your daughter. cause i dont know honestly who can treat her any better. i love her so much. But the reason i dont do all the things some of my friends do? Because i choose not to. and i think kristina can too. i dont think kristina would get influnced just like me. shes strong. and she knows its retarded to do those things. Im not asking for another chance though cause i know you made up your mind. all i want to say is: give krisitna more freedom! it'll be better for her, trust me on that.

uh oh

i think she knows... :[ surprised ruined? kewopfkpokgfopf hope she'll still enjoy it!

Today

is the worst day of my life. i didnt see kristina:[ it turns out i spent my time prepping for a suprise that cant even happen anymore. jewgfiwjaiogkweoigkweopgkaop i hate my life. i miss krisinta so much already. i never cared so much about anyone and this happens. wlfopoegwpkopwgk i hope this week goes by fast, so i can see her again:[ i love you

pure excitement

this upcoming weeek will be so good:]
selfreminder:
-usher
-pluck
-shave
-give g's
-prepare /w candles
-cut hair
-dont steal

im sorry

mommy. i didnt mean to get you mad at me! i not going bother you about going back to home anymore. im sorry

holy shiz-_-

i think my blurred vision saved me for the first time ever...my grandma wearing this robelike dress was putting on lotion on her legs and i on the hand was just looking at her cuz she was talking. but then something shocking happened. EW kewfmewagkewgewakgop she uncrossed her leg and idk what i saw. im glad idk what i saw. shit imma die kgfewapgk IM BLIND!!!!!!!!!

segoijwarewaoigjwiogkoi

:[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ imy

i got plans

GOOOD PLANS:] im excited













ps- hi kristina!

Life is Good

i have a great family. right now in the middle of the night Emily my baby sister came to my room, crying. i hugged her to my bed and asked her whats wrong. she was crying cause mom left to go buy something. she was asking for me to stay with her. i felt so happy that she came to me. honestly. I told her everything would be okay and gave her the biggest hug:] it was the cutest thing in the world to me. not her crying, just her coming to me for comfort. Afterwards i laid her down and told her she doesnt need to worry cause mommys coming home soon. she stopped and fell asleep. I took her to her room and put her to sleep agian. Then i went to see my grandma and she was playing this old skool game and haha i didnt bother her. it was so cute watching her play:] shes been playing for like 5 hours now or more. HAHA and shes still on the same level. HAHAH idk why but right now i feel so warm and happy inside =] this is good. But aside from that what i want is to just make Kristina happy. Shes a keeper:] HAHA yeah im so happy about everything right now. im like smiling writing this idk why-_- HAHA but yeah i miss krisinta so much. i miss her the most outta anyone in the world right now. Im so glad i met her and i couldnt ask for more. Gosh I Love my life =]]]]] thanks for everything kristina! I LOVE YOU.

hello

there are these 2 lil people outside my room.my sister and my lil cousin. aged 6 and 4. they want to come in here and jump around and bug me and stuff. okay kriisntas back bye:]

:]

life is good. i have a great family that cares alot, too much to be honest. but thats love for yah! My friends are great, checkin up on me and stuff. And i have the perfect girl who makes me smile every second i talk to her. damn i really have it good. I thought i had it good before but now honestly i know what i was missing. Ill do anything to keep everything like it is now. like seriously theres nothing better:] except for the fact that right now im away from all that cause im in TAIWAN :[ i really dont wanna be here but i got no choice. so whatever. Right now all i have here is family, which im makin it sound bad but its not. Its just im missing the other 2 things i need in life. my friends and kristina! ugh i hate thinking about it so much cause i know im so far away from them. HAHA who am i kidding right now all im missing is Kristina and a few of my close friends and when i say a few i mean like 5 give or take. i might be lying about that too tho cause right now all thats on my mind is Kristina KRISTNA KRISTINA jewgjiawogjio okay bye imma go eat pizza. i cant wait til she signs on:]]]]]]]

yeah you see my smile? thats the kind i get everytime. its kinda ugly but idgaf. which reminds me, i still owe you a bday dinner:] gosh kristina your so pretty. dont slap me cause ill block that shiz;]

I MISS YOU

SOOOOOOO MUCH KRISTINA SIA!

okay

its 20:03. kristina i know how to count the time okay-_- im not retarded. im just too lazy to! gosh. aite so right now i got like 6 mosquito bites, and each of them itches equally if not more then one another. i was downstairs for 10 mins and got 6 mosquito bites,and started sweating at freak 20:04! WTHECK who sweats sitting down at nighttime? -_- i just washed my face too...ugh time to wash again! wel yeah today was pretty eh. other then doing random things all i think about is kristina, which isnt that bad but its just i keep wishing i could see her and be with her instead of just constant imagination! okay well i miss you kristina gnite<3 sweet dreams. dont forget to write back or um anything as long as you communicate with me!:] i miss yah so much! hope your capital P goes away soon, all you headaches go away, and your stomach pain goes away too:] gluck. and see yah soon baby<3

First day in taiwan

hmmm how could i describe it....boring?hot? :[ this sucks i wanna go back already. its either a week gone or 2. or 3:[ right now all thats on my mind is this really special girl. shes always on my mind cuz she makes me the most happiest guy ever. but shes not here so i shall try to sleep -_____________- good morning btw kristina! miss yah so much baby<3333333333

KRISTINAAAAAAA

im going to miss you so much when im in taiwan! i already do now... damnit-_- krisitna imma talk to you everday kay!??! it might be 2 weeks before i come back. ummmmm yeah thanks so much for everything:]

hey

life is pretty good so far. sometimes it hits me when i see something that reminds me of someone, but i remind my self i did have a life before she came in to the picture right? june is finally comming to an end with a good term. June the most hated month( only to me and frank) =D HAHA anyone can make anything possible =] duh ps. i miss you alots, you make me happy even though i dont have you. i wish you can come back to me =[ k bye! =D

pros.
junes almost done
family closer then before (after i finally opened my eyes sheesh! =D)
i realize alot of people care about me so no matter what i do it will affect alot of people
i feel kewl!
quit everything(honestly GUYS! thats BAD!... you guys wont believe me -_- i know it)
seeing chan chan get sunburned!
met alot of new people
life is gewd?
so much free time!
tried my best in everything i gots
at least im keeping my promise, it'll be hard but ill try! =]
cons.
reallly really darn hot-.-
jail.
helping people then i get all the blame.
thinking bout other people before i thought about my self
community service.
no one wants to hire a filipino -_- haha=D
i lost someone really special to me.

what did i do wrong:[

today was a day ruined... i feel like shit right now. why is this happening to me? goperkoikhoekhopekhpok im sorry mrs.sia:[ idk what i did wrong but please forgive me. let krisitna hang out with me!! if you want me to stop hanging out with my friends i will. just tell me. please...nothing can be worse right now then krisitna not caring anymore. im so sad please forgive me. i promise on everything in the world that ill try my best to make kristina happy. gjkweoigopwkghoaekhpo i promise

this

has got to be the worst month ever. but as long as kristinas still here with me im happy.

turn that frown upside down:]

Dont worry about what your mom has to say kristina; not that it isnt important. It is and believe me i know how important it is! but its not soemthing you should worry about, its me. I know now how much harder i need to try. and i will, trust me. As of now i dont really have a plan on how to prove that im not a player-_- but ill think of a way. hang on Kristina:] i miss you so much. i just hope you go to sleep happy everyday.

Thank You

Daddy. for all you have given me. i idolize you in some ways i cant others. You are the smartest guy i know, you work so hard and still find time to have fun! you always tell me to try hard. and i promise, i will one day soon! sorry for the recent bs you had to deal with-_- you dont deserve any of it. I love you Dad, you are the best. And im sure nobody could love their dad as much as i love mine. im sure. Happy Fathers Day!!!!! ps- hi kristina:]

okay jk

we didnt swim, but that didnt stop me from enojoying myself! :]]]]] its weird how doing almost compeltely nothing could be so full of laughs and smiles:]

yay:]

tommorrow i get to see krisittina again and we get to swim! imma clean up my pool more and the outside shower while shes at the opera:] how exciting.

whats wrong:[

please tell me! ill be here for you if you need me.

i miss you kristina:[

i missssss you sooooooooo much! Your smile,your cute and lame jokes, your dimples, your soft hands, your cold feet, UGH I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! i need your hug right now. not only cuz im half naked too ;] HAHA OKAY ANYAWYSSSSSSSS TODAY WAS BORING CUZ I BARELY TALKED TO YOU, and i basically helped all day around. which isnt that bad cuz i barely do anything-_- but yeah. kay well i just hope we hang out soon. and talk really soon! okay bye gnite baby<3 i miss you

:]]]]]

hi sweetie pie ;] if yah catch my drift! HAHA. i miss you:[ and its only been a few hours since i last saw you! damn... well what can i say...you make me happier then humanly possible! :] theres only so much i can say to really describe what i feel towards you. and if i say it a few more times i feel like im over doing it;but honestly its how i feel!! lifes perfect. even with all the bs that has happened. you make the pain go away. i hope this feeling lasts forever. seriously. cuz nothings better then the fun talks;] we have. and the fun moments:]]]]] and lets play that game "dont try to wake ******* up" agian! HAHAH<3 oh btw every corner is yours remember that. gnite baby<3 immma knock out. oh btw remind me to workout everyday! ps-sorry this is sucha random blog. theres so many things goin on in my mind about you im not sure what to say at what time! :]]]]] okay gnite baby sweet dreams. i hope you dream about the fun times we have:] HAHA and i hope you get to enjoy the sweetness i got to enjoy!!! HAHAH KAY GNITE.

things are just great

through all that has happened. things are turning out better, faster then i expected. gosh
im so happy! Honestly, how many people know ANYONE who can make the worst time in your life, the best? im sure nobody..except me of course. and that person is Kristina. So yeah thank you! Life could get better, only once all this bs with the cops are over tho. then i could truely enjoy freedom and see kristina more! that to me, is the most exciting thing. Gnite baby:] sweet dreams. ps- Kristina, I like you soooo much:] like you have NO IDEA. NONE! <33333333333

bad,but getting better

everything is so fucked up lately. only cuz the dumb decisions i made:[ honestly i wish i could take it all back. but its slowly gettin better agian. kristina made it better, justin made it better, everyone who called and cared. thank you. gnite baby! <333 i hope i can amke things better.

kristina

im so sorry. please forgive me. i know i fucked up. im so sorry.

theres NOTHING better....

then a day with kristina. nothing. she makes all my troubles go away! she makes me so happy:] its actually hard to describe. and seriously i dont think anything that could make me that happy. maybe except orgasm! HAHA but ANYWAYS, today was pretty good! =) liike i picked her up from diamond bar then to albertonsons and got some lil snacks! then after that we went to blockbuster and got 2 movies: mall cop, and shutter. decent movies turned into really good movies only cuz i got to watch it with my love:] i loved it so much when she held on to me. gosh everything about her makes me smile. from her lil corny jokes, to her looks, down to the little cute kisses she does! oh yeah cant forget her perfect hugs! so warm and soft! yeah well today was perfect. i cant think of a day i hung out withher that isnt tho. its kinda weird, i never thought that there could be so many perfect days. but kristina made it happen! haha shes so amazing. thats a word i never use. but its true. shes fuckin amazing! well i cant wait to see her thursday[hopefully] and forsure friday! :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] gnite baby sweet dreams

smile!

kristina i hope you get better:]

LONG TIME NO BLOG!

First thing i have to say is. HI KRISTINA I MISS YOU SO MUCH!:]]
well what can i say the days have been great. been seeing kristina alot. she gives me all these surprises:] not only like hanging out wise but yknnow:] the cute stuff! HAHAH kay ANYWAYS. like life cant get any better, and no im not copying you krisitna; i told candy that while i was still at her house, its so great:] ive never been happier in my whole entire life. literally! like its so wonderful. people tell me about their dramas and stuff but seriously i cant help but think in the back of my mind how perfect my life is compared to theirs. great family,great friends, perfect girl:] gosh nothing could be better. I hope this is a long summer! and i hope i could continue to hang out with kristina everytime:] <33333333333 gnite baby.

whats new?

i have a new favorite sweater:] and it smells great!

another unexpected great day

Today was a day for hard work. Then my mom asked me to go watch a movie with her:]]]] So i called krisitna and wanted to invite her! but she didnt pick up. then she called back and told me she was at puente! which is where i was going! haha so i got pretty lucky and hung out with her for about an hour. then i went to watch night at the museam 2. i saw so amny friends. vivian was the ticket sales girl. i met up with nicole,jenny,megan. saw gloria, debbie. saw becky working at um this place that sales icecream. saw so many friends! then um after the movie i went home. and started my homework. its fuckin crazy how much i have! cuz i saved up a bunch: / and yea i talked to my baby! haha krisitna you have nothing to worry about. your perfect to me:] i will never get bored of you! i like you so much. and im really excited for tomorrow, and thursday, and saturday! i miss you so much already <3333333 bye!

a missed opportunity.

today i missed the chance to hang out with krisinta for an hour! but its okay cuz i found out i can see her on thursday:]]]]]]] not friday tho:p but saturday! HAHA things are goin great! i love it when we talk on the phone. its like a micro orgasm! LMFAO okayANYWAYS um gluck on studing today! and i hope your um capital P ends soon! and if you have to pms at me, its fine cuz i wanna see all the diffrent sides of you. dont be scared to show me any side please<33333333 gnite sweet dreams kristina! ps i miss you baby, thanks for calling.

your the one:]

:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] kristina im happy because of you! very happy. and yup:] thank you so much<333333333 i miss you baby. today was a great day. i cant stop smiling right now just thinking about you gosh. i miss you so much:] HAHA kay bye! hope you had fun at the dinner thing. call me! soon..if you want:]

hahah

wowwwwww just as i thought im getting to know what you do, you outta no where change! haha so unpredictable:]]] well lemmi guess. this time your gonna read it in the morning again! muhahah am i right? :] i probably am. HAHA kay ANYWAYS. like today was a whatever day. cuz i woke up, showered nd brushed my teeth. ate. then showered and brushed my teeth AGAIN CUZ i thought i was gonna see kristiana but i didnt! :[ its okay tho cuz i get to see her tomorrow. but yea after that i went to pick up my car. then i went to car wash with my mom. then afterwards um i went home and talked to kristina:] and then i went to the meeting. and then now im home and read her comment and her message. hahaha yea it made me smile and laugh retardedly! and yknow what? you dont needa tell me your um secrets ;] YET. one day tho you have to tell me! kay?!?! haha<3 no rush tho we got all summer and times after that! but yup...thats the future. as of now, im just happy im talking to you! cant wait to see you tomorrow babe. i miss you already! <3 gnite sweetdreams. hope your capital P feels better!
ps-dont dream dirty again! HAHAHA<3 jk i hope you do so you can tell me all about it:]]]]]

lets cyber.

HAHA jk you wish! aite so today was good and all, then i saw kristina and then it became a great day filled with butterflies and such:] kristina you really wanna know a secret?...kay ill tell yah: you make me soo happy that i dont need anything more then your already giving me now:] which means you can keep rejecting me like you do, but even if you do im still as happy as can be! but IF you do anything else (ex kiss me one day:]]]]]]]]]) HAHA sorry, had to add that, um itll just be like a feeling beyond happiness! cuz ive never been this happy and excited to see someone everyday! :] thank you. you make my world! <33333333 gnite baby! i mean good morning since your prob gonna read this during the morning

yay:]

everythings going perfect. i just commented kristina on 11:11...what a fukin coincidence. i made a good wish too! well today was really good cuz i saw krisitna and her mom and matt:] kristina, youknow i would give anything just to get those long hugs or those long moments where you just look at me and it makes me so happy. your so pretty:] dont slap me for saying that-_- but its true! well like yea everything else today wasnt as important but ill say it anyways, after school...i hung out wit aj,then kristina:]]]]]]]],then went to pick up stephen and justin lin, went to the meeting thingy, then ate. now im home and kristinas gone! buts its okay cuz i get to see her tomorrow and hopefully get one of those perfect moments again. oh shit i forgot to ask her about the sweater thing.......fuck..... but its okay i dont needa know anything. im already as happy as can be!

:]

Aite. heres what happened. I slept over at Kristinas house and went to the beach with her and ate shabushabu with her too! am i overly lucky? YES. will my luck ever run out? i hope not. This feeling is unexplainable. its like perfect!?i dont know if thats possible but i dont give a fuck. thats how i feel. Well, one thing i noticed is..we can high five each other now:] without me getting rejected. yay! step two...hugs? hopefully!? HAHA<3 gnite kristina thanks so much for the great time.
ps- i miss you already baby:[
psps- i just realized...i got a sunburn!

okay.

so its 4:30 right now sunday morning, and im not sleeping yet. WTF! kay. heres my day starting from yesturday. Kay so justin slept over my house. then he left in the morning to go eat while i was dreaming. then i woke up nd went to my moms room and talked to her and stuff. planned a dinner with her! then i went to my room and like tried to sleep. then my mom called me and we went to target, then kohls. got some new dress shirts and ties! um then after i went to eat all you can eat sushi with my mommy:]]] it was great! didnt have dinner with my queen in a longgg time. then afterwards i went to vivians house, looked at soemt pictures, talked and waited for her to get ready. then um i went to eunices. then we went to eat yogurt, then we attempted to go to westco mall. that failed but its coo cuz then we went to life and saw candy. um we walked around and did nothing! then called up justin lin to chill. he came and we went to yes plaza. then sat there.. then i eunice got picked up. then we drove to justins house and dropped off his car. then started cruisin around in my car. then dropped off vivian. then to the donut shop, then to donut shop #2, then to the park, then to justins house! FUCKIN CRAZY AMOUNT OF DRIVING in less then 5 hours! about..80 miles? shittttttttt just filled up gas too. but anyways it was pretty fun cuz i slept in the car with justin til like 3? fuckin crazy...then i went home,brushed my teeth,washed my face. and failed my once a week thing.-_-. and now im here! shiet. BUT YOUKNOW WHAT?!? the best part was unmentioned. no it wasnt the dream of K.S, it was the actual her calling me:] and we talked but she was sick:[ hope you feel better baby! but yea stupid justin made me like not talk cuz i felt um weird. but yea i loved it so much! GOSH well imma try to like go to bed now and hopefully talk to her today if shes not too busy with her lil studies! but yea im FUCKIN EXCITED FOR TOMORROW! :]]]]]]] wel gnite! call me soon cutiepie:] PELASE! ps- DONT MOVE TO HAWAII,jerk

hello? anyone here?

HI KRISTINA:]]]]]] i miss you alot. i mean ALOTTTTTTTT!

good day.

Today which i thought would jsut turn out to be another normal day was far from it! school and everything was the same. woke up tired, saw prom pic next to door~smiled. got ready went to school bored. 11:11 just now. kay anyways 1st pd-bored,2nd-bored,3rd-read book in weight training,4th-no work done in math, talk talkt talk,lunch- chill, makeup tests, 5th- fun science class,6th- fun. schools over went home got ready for work...THEN KRISTINA CALLED!:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] the fun began. changed plans about work to hang out with her:] got rejected again like 5x. but it was good. she told me about something gross...about the female period. ugh. but yea okay ummm i met her mom:] i hope she likes me alot! but the best thing is definetely knowing i saw her today and am gonna see her again tommororw! gosh:]]]]]]] i really am lucky. then after that...work work work. ummm yea cant wait tomorrow:]
but today is missing a few things. a highfive,a hug, and a lil kiss! but its okay ill take one at a time slowly. very slowly hopefully. not really but :] long enough til she feels comfy! "give it to me hard" imma dl that song tomororw!

welll..

im finally back from texas:] although sad that someone didnt call and i didnt get to talk to her for the whole day except like lietrally 2 minutes once i got home, its okay:] cuz like im home now and im happy. kinda jealous, but happy. erjkahoiejkhoiahekoiaekhopk. i really hope everything works out for the best! Tuesday<33333

going home

im finally going home:]]] um texas is pretty whatever tho nothing special. imma make so mhch money when i get home. sheiittt but yea the thing i miss most from california is not just something. its not my bed or my room or my house or my friends or even my family! i miss kristina the most:[ the nonstop thinking is driving me crazy for her. ugh i need a hug on tuesday...hopefully we swim and talk and talk and talk:]

kristinnaaaaaaaa

i miss you so much soooooooo so much. i miss your warm hugs:[ i miss giving you the lil pecks! ugh texas is boring as hell. the drive sucked except when kristina texted me:]] thanks so muhc for making my morning when ir ead the text that said "goodmorning frankasaur" thank you so much for it. and the calls and voicemails. imma go eat dinner now please call me soon or im me:] bye!!! have fun at prom tomorrow babe. <3333

Today..

IM OFF TO TEXAS! til sunday or maybe even monday. GOSH how i wish i could stay...kristina next time you like plan a hangout please tell me so i can object to the less important stuff(ex:texas)! okay?!? hahah:] yea well yesturday i saw kristina. and everything was so great:] except when we were sitting down and like i offered a high five... A HIGH FIVE. AND SHE REJECTED IT! WHO THE FUKKKKKKKK REJECTS A HIGH FIVE?!? hahah gosh kristina, sometimes i wish you were like others..nobody ever rejected me.especially a highfive! but yea now i knwo how slow to take things. hmm ill give you another high five in a month and see how that works out:] haha kay gnite! um please dont forget to call. ill like be soooooooo sad if you dont call during the freakin 4 days im gone:[[[[[[[ ps-dont meet or touch or fantasize about any other guys please! HAHA jk you go ahead and do that if you want:]

krstina!

tomorrow imma see you:] which when you read this itll prob be today. im really excited! haha well i dont wanna go to texas cuz then that means on friday i cant hang out with you:'( but yknow what ill see you when i get back hopefully! and if that happens imma be super smiley and happy! haha well you signed off and im sad:[ but its fine! gnite! imma go help my sister with her homework! have fun tomorrow and i hope to see you and maybe get that um booboo healer:]]]]] HAHA kay gnite!

:]

im frank, and im here to brag. Brag about having the best day ever. im sure nobody else had a better day in their life then what i had today! Thank you Kristina. you make me happier and happier each time i see you:] gnite sweet dreams. I miss you already!

TODAY IS THE DAY!

THE BEST DAY IN THE WORLD. its about to happen. PROM WITH KRISTINA!! YAY

POINT OF REALIZATION

I know now that i like her sooo much, but i realize she will always be to busy for me! She left so fast i couldnt even ask how her day was! Its okay tho cuz ill ask tomorrow and the day after and the day after. Its all okay tho cuz ill just sit here waiting patiently for her.
gnite kristina! sweeeeet dreams gluck on your tests.

so busy.

Today...was a long day. School wasnt the hard part. Right after school I....
1)picked up alex
2)dropped him off home
3)attempted to save jerics car
4)picked up cindy
5)went to buy corsages
6)dolphin bay
7)brea, shopped around for prom stuff
8)alex's house for prom pants and shirt and belt
9)taco bell
10) cindys house
11)slept at cindys
12)woke up did half my homework
13) finally home with nothing to do:'(
14) missing someone who barely has time for me! :] its fine tho cuz shes busy nd i understand.
15) going to moms room
BYE!!!

yay

Kristina actually called today:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] so happy thank you! made my day. hope you have a gnite. ps- i miss your blogs

past days

have gone by great. chillin with friends is the best! hmm i needa make a to do list
TODO LIST:
1) buy prom suit
2) get grades up
3) buy mommy mothers day gift
4) save money cuz im runnin out!
5) do more cardio to get rid of all my body fat to get my six pack goal:]
6) talk to kristina more and more:]
7) hang out with kristina!
8) make sure she enjoys ever second of it!
9) stop overthinking things.
10) make her happy

it was a good day.

it was pretty chill today. got to perform only 2 songs at choir tho. fuckin mrs.lopez! egjawojgoikajwoijk its oaky:] saw kristina today til i was almost late. i ran so fast to the concert! almsot died. shit aite gnite im tired

Today:

didnt go to school, cindys house, my house, dbhs to pick up viv&euni, westco for an hour,savons,baskinrobins,cindys,school found out i couldnt perform cuz my fuckin ugly ass teacher wjhoigwejahojkehokjeohk( yay minus a whole letta grade), stayed in parking lot forever for smeothing, alfred met up with us, L&L, saw rene,kent,zulf,joe,omar and a buncha randomass groups. jj and them came. left to ST marthas saw melissa shannon andre and others, played confetti war. sorry vivian for makin you throw up! left at 11ish? went to in n out. devoured some fries. had a competition with jj nick and william about who looks more alike. and ending results= me and jj the cutest boy, and nick and william lmfao:] then came home and now im here: / but yea. it was a pretty eh day:'( I didnt talk to kristina at all
:[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ gosh days are getting boringER and boringer. whats missing?...its the talking and hangin out with kristina! duh! okay like today shes gonna take the SATS and i know shes gonna do really well cuz shes like the smartest person i know. kay gnite:] gluck kristina
ps-i almost forgot to mention that shes also the prettiest/cutest/most talented person eva!:] gnite sweet dreams. OH YEA today i finally made a 11:11 wish again:]

:]

hi kristina, i miss you! i fell asleep until now cuz i was like waiting for you to like get home. but you never came back! well gnite lil miss conceited:]
ps- since yknow who i like, who do you like!

hmmmm....

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

so like....

I am going to the gym soon, and i hope that when i come home kristinas online... gosh i havent talked to her in like 12849018590185 hours! so sad.... so lemmi tell you about my day. woke up took math star testing and guessed on like most of them and slept for 2 hours:] yay okay and then like at lunch i spent my whole lunch waiting in line to get prom tickets and filled out part of the date pass. umm then afterschool lets see...choir rehearsal til like 4:30 but 6ish for me cuz she took my fone and i wanted it back so i waited. then i went to el pollo loco for the free chicken! then yea now im home and theres nothing i want more then to talk to krisitna:'( but shes not here i called but shes not here! goshhhhhhhhh:'( imma go to the gym now.... bye! WAIT OMFG KRISTINAS ONLINE OKAY BYE

:]]]]]]]

yay kristina made my day by calling to say gnite OMFGGGG that made me like naijweghwuirjhaeiohjoi. gosh what more can i ask for! well yea okay anyways today i also found out kristina is going to dbhs prom. have fun!:] HAHA

jeric joel mofucking devela

musiq right now is rescuing my life. Gibberish~.
God. thanks.I.Love.you.Very.Much.

wind full of opportunities are rushing, gazing me with out a care.
Dreams.. are dreams, you are the one who has to work hard to make those dreams a reality, don't give up or those dreams will falter.

closing my eyes looking at the moon, thinking when we could ever fly? nothing is impossible we just have to find away. Opening doors to find my happiness to see if I am really happy. Closing the old to see if i need it or not. When will my life be content? why be passive, when passive people only brings misery and loneliness in your life. be more active be the one having fun with out a care. Think about your happiness first then others. your life is your life, r you living other peoples lives, or are they living in yours? think about it.


4 amigos.fnjj

-jeric joel mo fucking devela

days are just

FLYING. compared to before that is. before meaning before April 3rd of course. kay anyways today went pretty good. woke up at 10 cuz someones alert woke me up. nd then took nancy to church then came home talked to jj and then went back to sleep til like 3ish 4ish. talked to kristina:]]]]]]]] til she left. she left so fast:'( but its okay at least i talked to her! well yea i went to bffes house ate and did homework there. then after that i watched futurama til like idk with cindy and like then got jack in the box for the like 12040931250 time this week. shit im gettin fat. more gym more sixpack i hope! i really wanna impress her. OH YEA IMMA FUCKIN START RAVING. yEAUHHHHHHHHHH! haha kay um imma go to sleep unless i hear a cashregister sound or i hear her ringtone go off! gnite! sweet dreams mks. goodbye to everyone else

(oh yea why april 3rd? its cuz i met kristina that day:])

how can i say this..without sounding to happy?

okay so like kristina said yes to go to prom with me[frank tsaur; the luckiest guy in the world of course!] well yea:] i asked in the lamest way possible. sorry! well yea yesturday was a good day. yesturday being 2 days ago actually. um again, i hung out with kristina at my house the whole time. gosh i know it sounds boring but its actually the best time of my life:]] kay well i really really hope to hang out with kristina soon again.

tomorrow is the day

so many feelings describe tomorrow. happyness,luck,excitement, nervousness, flutterbys! gosh tomorrow is going to be great:] i hope she will have more fun then I; but i really doubt thats possible! i cant help thinking of kristina! its so like addicting? HAH thinking about her makes me happy,talking to her makes me happy, hanging outw ith her makes me most happy:]]]]]]] yay okay so tomororw heres the plan: starbucks,movies,my house! franktsaur....prepare for the best day of your life!

HA HA HA...

jeric dont even think for a moment imma letchu off tha easily. the things you do for me are way more then i can ever do for you! you make me so happy. you encourage me on everything i do. i learn from you alot. you are my brother and i love you so much. i love the times we have the talks about everything in the world from what were gonna do in the future to girls to being scared of anything! lmfao you just texted me right now "wanna go to gmr" well yea like i love you sooooo so much, and no matter what happens i will always be there for you. sorry for all the things i do that pisses you off like the countless guilt trips i gave:] kinda fun but sorry! ignoring you in the past for stupid shit. and yea my bad! but you are family, and family is forever:] when we are sixty; yea you read that, fuckin sixty. we will still be chillin hopefully with our wives by our side:] whoever that may be! im just happy i have you. gnite brother:] see you soon ill pick you up haha.
ps- hi maria kristina sia:] i miss you

To my superman.

I believe there is one superman in everyone's life. We might not know who it is until in the end, when its too late to thank them. But sometimes people get's lucky and realizes who their superman is early. I was one of the lucky ones. Thanks, my brother, my friend, and the person that saves my ass alot.I hated it when we got close because you might leave, i hated it when you treated me like a king, i hated it when you tell me all these comments that flattered my heart. Thanks for everything you've done for me. I now i know you wont ever leave. I'm sorry that your stuck here with me, but at least I'm thankful that you are here.

life

is good, almost too good. everythings been going the way i wanted almost. but like for the most important stuff. it is! like kristina:] gosh i feel stupid always saying these things like how shes so talented and pretty and all those good stuff; but i cant help but say it all the time cuz its true!but the truely weird thing is its hard to get her off my mind. like starting from an unconcious state of sleep i start thinking about her as dreams, when i wake up in the morning happy i think about her. when im bored i wish she was there to talk to. When i eat i wish she was there to try some of the good fukin food. i look forward to going home to talk to her or to call her. or when im out i always keep hoping she calls so i can ditch everything thats happening just to talk to her:] gosh okay everythings goin so perfectly! oh but today my family left for china:'( my mom dad sister. who i will miss alot! um oh yea today i also learned that the shoes i bought[for myself] arnt good cuz i noticed i already got shoes! so i needa return it..i think and think of a new way of asking the big ?. gosh im scared but also excited:] well the other bad parts dont even involve me but it involves someone very special, she has aches on her leg and back and TONGUE? but yea ill help or attempt to when isee her:] HAH okay yea well i hope kristina has a goooood night sleep today and all the other days to come! gnite!!!! sweet dreams
ps- im not gonna sign on or call today cuz like dont wanna bug you maria sia gnite!

heres my day.

school same thing everyday--hot as fuck, got in trouble for showing too much skin. slept in class. dreams dreams dreams. after school i went to taco express nd got some bombassssssssssssssss burritos:] um yea like after that i waited for jeric so we can go to brea to buy my shoes. um yea after liek 3 hours we left for home and got home at aroudn 6? then emily my lil freakin sister had to be a secret spiller and tell kristina whatever secret i told her:'( gosh.. kay well whatever idcare then like we talked and i went to the gym and worked my ass offf! yea now im home and showered and such. nd kristinas not picking up her fone so i left a voicemail hoping one day she'll listen to it and be happy. oh did i mention my room is even darker now cuz 2 of my light bulbs went out and the remaining 3 lights are power saving lights. so like yea its pretty dim and gloomy! well i might sneak out with jeric later at around 12? if he really does sneak out that is. kay gnite anyone who reads this!
kant wait til F day!

kay so like

today went like this. woke up with jj talked to jj,left to nicks house.which he was sleeping, so we left to cindys went to get jackin the box, chinatown bought some knives, went to target bought a knife sharpener. went to my old house in rowland ate china buffet. talked to kristina,saw iris at the buffet got full as fuck, go back to rowland drop off cin, go buy food from vons for my sons, cvs for jj, dropped off jj and chilled there for like 30 mins, left to home. when i got home heres where the fun starts. kristina finally called after like what 30 minutes of seraching for her charger? which she didnt find! oh yea wait i forgot about the fact that after target we went to puente to go watch a movie but we didnt at the end cause yea i watned to buy soemthing for someone and i wanna watch movies with someone else:] HAHA kay anyways um yea my mommy told me things. and yea now kristina left idk what to do cuz my h0uuse is pretty boring. i guess imma just sleep! gnite kristina and anyone who reads this pointless thingy:] have fun at school tomorrow!

frank tsaur speaking:

kay so today was okay. just okay. woke up and didnt do anything as planned. no china town. no hanging out with paul. but instead i hung out with cindy starting at like 3-4ish. it was so hot omfg. i ate japanese food wit cindy,christie,and matt. i went back to their house nd knocked the fukkkkk out. um got woken up by jerics fone call. and then i went to go get a drink [mountain dew; which makes me lose some sperm:'( sad.sorry my babys] then i picked up jeric. and did nothing for the rest of the night at my house. oh yea i went to dennys around 12 ish? yea fuckin bombassss meatlovers scramble. then um back to my house after i dropped off jeric. then chilled there til 2:30 and took cindy home after long depressign talkin! and now im just tryna stay awake cuz i gotta wait for jj so i can pick him up again..hope i dont get caught! um well yea i forgot to say a few things...


the reason this day was only okay and not great like all the other days was because i didnt talk to mks as much as i wanted! but its coo cuz we can always talk more later. my sister had fun talking to her! so tahts good. well gnite kristina hope we can tlak more and more and hang out more nd more! HAHA kay have fun tomorrow at disneyland! dont ride too many rides over cuz then youll get sick again nd this time ill have to like bring you soup to make you efel better: ] kay gnite! bye miss yah

take it in and let it out

Sunday, 25 January 2009
Confusion is nothing new

Feels like the more I know, the less I really understand. You got me spinning in circles, I'd hate to admit it but life is hard enough, yes for the record you did make it a whole lot better for the time being. Don't make promises you can't keep. I don't want to compete no more, can't we just live our lives as they come with no one to feel next to or competition at all? I'm not asking for anymore of you, just that you tell me the truth..Truth is hard to swallow, no matter the shadiest cause I'm stronger than you think. You say one thing but you turn around to do another. You tell me that if we trusted each other with all our hearts that there would be no such doubt. Then please babe, stop givin' me reasons to think otherwise. I don't want to blend in, when times are hard I don't/will never think about having someone new on the side, you know that. It's compromise that moves us along, but without trust we have nothing. I could be in love with you but you wouldn't believe it. Feels like we're back at square one, trying to remember that it's me and you again for a reason and this time we're working infinity times harder to keep it this way.

Yes?

I think you are the one doing these.

1. Don't make promises you can't keep.

2.You say one thing but you turn around to do another.

-----------------------------------------------------------

tell me now. Have i ever broken a promise? have i Ever say one thing and do something else?
its all you.. believe it or not im still here, here since the first promise i gave you. Same feelings, same person, no change.


your the one who got me spinning in circles. I'm not asking for anymore of you, just that you tell me the truth..Truth is hard to swallow, no matter the shadiest cause I'm stronger than you think. I told you that if we trusted each other with all our hearts that there would be no such doubt.trying to remember that it's me and you again for a reason and this time I'M working infinity times harder to keep it this way.

and that was from your own blog.

I need you but wth am i trying to prove now? Haven't i proved enough?
lets fix our problems please. please dont take off my bracelet

hello:]

aite so like today. or yesturday was another great day. how many more will i have? well i know this for sure...as long as kristina keeps talking to me and hanging out with me it wont stop! HAHA kay so like everyday is goin so perfectly and now i just cant wait til the next time we hang out. i cant even like wait to sleep so i can wake up to her call! like i never thought i can be so lucky! does someone like me really deserve someone like her>?! :] gosh well i never really look forward to sleeping on a weekend but i actually am just so i can like dream one of my wonderful dreams that hopefully will come true, then wake up to kristina calling me and hearing her cute voice in the morning! HAHA wow okay im lame but i cant help it. i was born like this. born a loner and a weirdo. gnite kristina! :] <3

:]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

school sucked. after school was good:] i picked up kristina and went to my house and we basically did nothing! HAHA but it was the best time of my life like okay she was so cute! even tho she like refused to liek dance and all the other things..wow i just rememered she promised she'll play the piano for me but she didnt! WTFUHHHHHHHH? HAHA its coo:] im happy and yea everyone including my family keeps teasin me about her! haha well yea like hopefully one day i can do whta i wanna do:] umokay gnite tomorrow will be jsut as great or even like better! im so excited AHHHHHHHAEhkerophkoka kay thank you kristina for this wonderful feeling you give me! flutterbys,huge nonstop smiles and endless happyness:] HAHA gnite!

mixed signals.

What are you trying to prove?



you should look in my point of view of how much i try.
look on how much have faith.
look and you maybe will see what its like to be me.

today.

wasnt as good as yesturday or the few days before. because i got in trouble at school,have alota homework, am tired as hell. but most importantly is because i didnt talk to kristina as much as i wanted:'( gosh. but on the very very bright side. tomorrow is also the day i get to see kristina right after school! :] how exciting! hahaha well i hope she has a good night sleep and have sweet dreams! kay bye gnite.

oh and um like today my mom asked me what i am doing tomorrow and like i was like hanging out with this girl and shes like oh who? and i was like umm... HAH and she was liek tell me or im not gonna let you go! and i was like omg shes kristina! and she was like i never heard of her...i was like yea you never met her yet. and shes like oooh...and she was like all questioning me about her...and like yea hahaha i told her what i thought about her and stuff and yea now she wants to meet kristina HAHAH
ps-hi kristina:]
psps- im not gonna do my homework..fuck imma just copy all of it otmorrow

I need you, i want you, i love you.

I've been saying these words ever since. Never changing, Never leaving, Never ever giving up. I never knew where my limits were or if I even have limits. I always looked for the goal and sooner or later I was there. I felt like I was invincible, I can't ever get put down. I always only thought about your happiness or how the future will end up. Never listening to your pessimistic acts, or how you always say the future cannot be seen. I hated how you think, but I love you as a person. I went out of my ways just to show you that i love you or how I'm always gonna stick by your side. I guess i didn't show it enough, or i said it too much? I want and need to be with you. I dont want to think because it all leads to a pit where i cant get out of the hole. I just want my heart and my body to lead me to what makes me happy, and its leading me to you. please stay with me, hold my hand like you said, and share with me the future that we cannot see.

please dont take off my bracelet it makes me happy when i see you wear it

isnt it everything i do just for you to show you i care?
I know your an independent person, but sometimes you just have to accept it even when you know you can do it urself. Atleast you know they care. I'm here still keeping my promises 150%
in the future or maybe never if you ever tell me you love me I'm still gonna try my hardest no matter what happens. It's not for pity, its not for anyone else but me and you.

another day that went perfectly.

Well..not completely perfect but it sure felt liek it near the end of the day! woke up at around 7 without having a dream! wtheck. but yea the day passed just as it used to be. boring and textless! hahah but yea after school was good tho cuz i talked someone on the fone while i was waiting to get picked up by jeric:P haha yea it was kristina! and she kept me company while i was all alone. gosh shemakes me happy:) um well like when jj took me home we had like a minature feast. cereal,cold hotpcokets, hot hot pcokets, bagel bites, milano chocolate cookies,milk, dumplings. yea after that i did my homework with my cousin paul thanks for tuturing me and then otuta nowhere i hear this cash register sound and i get realy happy cuz its kristina! HAHA then my cousin imed her and said ily HAHA. and yea after that um i fell asleep watching i shouldnt be alive. and hercules came on and i started like daydreaming and yea. okay then after that i wetn to school to get my sweater form the locker /w my moms merc. yay i get my car back tomorrow. kay anyways here comes the best part i go home shower AGAIN! just so im all squeeky clean for her:) hahah um after that i went to life to see kristina! and i met her best friend for a week named jade. shes cool. doesnt talk alot but yea shes cool. um kristina doesnt wanna speak french infront of me idk why but yea. so like after we were about to leave life nd like i got a hug from her:] best hug ever! the wings were like flappin in my tummy. stupid flutterbys:] HAHA kay anyways like i was driving home and got a call from kristina and that made me smile even more then i was. gosh oh i forgot to mention that on the way to life cindy saw me and call me! hahah kay anyways um yea i got home. talked to kristina on the fone :] and yea now shes gone to bed and i hope she has a good sleep and a sweet dream! hahah thanks for all the perverted funny things kristina! gnite bye:]
ps- EVEN JADE THINKS YOUR SUPER PRETTY!!!

what i gots.

life is like a road, the light is always there! Dont think of it as a tunnel where it is creepy and cold,where you have to chase the end to get to the light. Think negative, it will end negative.


I learned many things these past months. If i want it , i can get it.. but i just have to work for it no matter how hard it will be. It's worth it and pretty fulfilling because you know u can get it, if u work/hope for it till the very end. I literally forgot how to smile, now its coming back to me with just a help of family.( family doesnt have to be blood)


Fact: True, I'm going to miss you. I'll still be here the same status and same title that we are now. But I know for sure that you wont have time for me, at least were both happy on what we got. I wont ever change my mind, or break the promises that i gave, maybe I am an idiot but heck its worth it for what i know.. YOUR REALITY aint got shit with my REALITY. you guys think over the top that it always go down hill, we cant see the future so just give up. No, i know you cant see the future but fuck.. has anyone ever told u guys you can control it. Its your life whos the boss? you or everyone else around u.. please dont leave me =D


ps. frank hope you have fun today you lucky champ

:]

kay so um today was a great day. I dreamed about kristina and woke up all happy. As a result the impossible happened. My choir teacher was happy at me for doing so well as well as the instructor. Then in weight training i was talking about kristina to my friend and right after she texted me! gosh i was happy:] so happy in fact that i bragged to my other friends cuz i think it was bragworthy. so yea i pooped next to justin and touched this gross shit and got ball tapped but that was the only bad thing that happened the whole day! well after that like i chilled nd chilled nd chilled til night time. but yea the highlights of the day was definetely talking to kristina on aim cuz she doesnt pick up my calls but its okay:] HAHA gnite.
ps-tomorrow should be like the most exciting thing ever cuz i get to hang out with kristina and this french girl thats gonna be kristinas best friend for a week! and hopefully like i get to hang out with kristina more often this weekend and all the other ones too. hopefully dream come true! HAHAH :]

no matter

you cant hurt me, no one can... i am invincible in my own my seeing through everything and everyone. Trust me, believe me, ill show u, no one can hurt the fact that i am what i am. Do what your hearts telling u. that is the true answer.

kay so....heres whats crackin

-laserr tag (THIRD PLACE NIGGA)
-chillin with friends
-missing some people who dgaf
-dota
-missing my car
-and saving the best for last:) talking to kristina and hoping to hang out with her soon

D.O.N.E

I say what I say and do what I have to do. No More Peer Pressure. I'm Clean.
what to do, what to say, what will I become? I D G A F Anymore. I just need my musiq. I dont care, I dont give a fuck, Just pass on. I need to be back to the group where I belong =D. Smile's

Finally the group is alive =]


fuck all yall.
fuck the world.
fuck everyone.

its just me and my crew facing the world xD





ps. wanna join my mafia? fill out an application! SIKE 7 amigos

time for jj to dgaf

hey brother =D gewd luck with kristina i read what u wrote a few days ago =] glad

wow.

Fading away. better? or Worse? I think its going bad, but i gotta go back where i used to be. take a deep breath close ur eyes and think of what i've becom. this is not my style.


rehab to be who i was =D Smile niggah =D ill come back for you i swear. and im sorry. for everything i caused im really sorry

:]

i dont mean to brag but sorry i cant help it. yesturday was soo fun! like it was kristinas bday and yea we like ate and walked around and stuff but the best part wasnt even those things. it was when i finally talked to kristina:) hahah some parts were kinda weird but only cuz like PEOPLE KEPT SAYING THINGS. but now its all good i think im getting used to it! so like yea this is going goooood. i promise things wont get like awkward anymore:] byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

kay so like.......

these past few days (even tho i stayed at home) were like the best cause i keep talkin to this girl named maria kristina sia. HAHA um yea she makes me laugh so much and smile retardedly to the computer. And she signs off randomly and i get sad and get nightmares about her but its oaky! and um yea its almost her bday and i hope to see her there tomorrow and her to be happy and not tob e ditched by bday girl! BYEEE
ps~hi jeric if you read this

selfish? greedy? happiness?

What the fuck does this all mean? believing in the good of people? Thats what i did, i tried to follow what was going on in your head but in the end, it all leads to a manipulating, indecisive, emotional person that is trying to break us apart. I am not being recklessly stupid because i actually put an effort in know and how kind hearted this person is. I tried, believe me I really tried.. the more i see him, the more i know him, the more i get fooled and lose hope in him. I really do mind u go out and hang with him, i really do.. because my gut feelings are always right. Im not being selfish or anything but i actually thought about it for a while and now its all up to u.

whats wrong?

truthfully speaking... I am confused and partially lost in my own head, with irritating senses. Battles for once i cant win alone.. What do i need? Who do i need? just to win like i did before? I am asking alot of questions but no one is willing to answer! Where is the light that will show me the way? Before there was a huge bright light telling me what is right to what is wrong. Now that light is dimming away from me, just leaving me in to darkness. Someone guide me, show me , tell me what is going on. Everything goes fucking my way, but how can it go my way when i dont even know what is going on. smiling through aint enough, messing around might destroy what i have, and leaving might be a good decision.

ps. =D hey emily, lets change life, lets change the world. =]

11;11

I'll Make shit Go My Way in desperate needs. Ill wait. Ill wait. For how long, I do not know. If you not with me, ill be mature about it and wait. I'm in no hurry, I'm happy as long as the sun rises up in the sky, where the clouds move in a pace where i can imagine countless things in my head.





step 1 to the impossible

sacrifices.

Everyone makes sacrifices, but this one for me will be a drastic one. Maybe, just maybe, it will go back to normal after this ends. Being honest, I would never be happy about this decision ever. It's worth it if its for good intentions. I will go down hill, while you will go up! Don't trip chocolate chip even if im going down, at least i will go down with a smile. I say trust me, I say believe in me, I say love me like I love you. If i love you this much this will be worth it. Not sprung not a fluke. Its been fun!


ps. =D thanks for being the teacher and the student, thanks for making memories that has great meanings. Thanks for all the care you gave to me. Just keep on smiling =D

Thanks everyone =D

I don't know if I am mature or immature about this situation. You can fix everything if you put your mind to it! I was thinking how you thought for a week, and my mind could'nt handle it. I give you respect for how you can handle thinking realistically, because it is just full of grief and self pity. Now I really know what the meaning of life means. Life can be all about luck, chance, confidence, or pity. It's how you put your mind to work. Seriously, when I told you that you were right about how maybe we can't last, so lets ride for memories, true? N.I.G.G.A Life is not fair, so make it your way. You won't know what will happen till it happens? So control it for you can ride your dreams until your life comes to an end. Sorry but I can make impossible possible. So can you.......

My favorite

song is your heart beat... I want to listen to it all day long.
I'm a blind man, who will suffer in the future! live the ride as long as I can till it washes me to the ocean. In the end what will I have? Nothing, but pure and memorable memories.

There is time for everything

I close my eyes, and make a wish.. while my eyes are close the time stops right before my eyes. Whispering to my ears, you have a great life... enjoy it while it last. With a sudden smile on my face, i admit i do have a great life. Life with joy, life with care, and life with suprises to be unfold.




mean time..

Come..

I tried my hardest to climb Mt. Everest.. When I felt like I'm almost up at the peak of the mountain, I just fall back with a devastating push, that is making me try again, and try again. I know its worth it to try and never give up because you are close as it can get. But can't you understand that I will never ever replace you as anything? Can you please just give it a chance and stay mutual, because thats what i would do for you.

postin

woke up nothing to do, blogging it up, nothing to say.


unique smell of spice, can you dig it?

=D

2 words... DRIVING CAN KISS MY ASS! <--- okay 5 words =D


Words run out, action moves in!

-- if you chase something, to get something... something else will come chasing you

Head high up! head up down!

hail up to the sky! listen to the beat, time will come i promise, i promise...! feel the pressure of the anxiety between!

am i?

really happy or is it just another illusion of how well my life is going right now?



nigga i aint complaining, i aint confused, but one thing i know! im stubborn as a motha fucka.

ya im happy, just wierded out because everything is going so well

places

Run, run away... To the places you can not be found, but to let you know I'll always be here, with out a doubt. Things are turning out better then it seems =D Im glad that it didnt turn out the opposite! welcome back!? But to let you know! I'm tired of this game your playing... If you keep leaving then leave forever! I get what your trying to imply, yes i forgive people easily and forget about the past so fast. This time im keeping what i say and if you leave, then you leave.

=D life is just a game. Play it with joy.


DONT MESS !!

I AM

DOMINATING THE WORLD! haha my way is the high way =D! life is great, who cares bout small problems that bugs the hell out of me!

1. FML.com is the funniest shit in the world
2. BANNNNNNNNNNNANIE =D HAHA
3. bfff ( best fucking friend forever) thanks!
4. cake/cupckaes/and mango marino!
5. last vegas right now!
6. BAHAHAHA ! funny
7. >;]

cons.
1. miss you

I tried so hard

but was it worth it? Of course it was but then again maybe i shouldnt have messed with it at all. I devoted in to something that was like a ticking time bomb. IN then end, is only the end.

journey

My life, My treasures.
Lets forget all about the past, and continue our journey. Lets make it amusing and foolish! I know there are problematic that awaits us, but it does not mean we can't over come them! Smile,laugh,worry, and be scared it wont matter what I face or who I face, It's my life and I'm going to control it my own way. Sing a song, be graceful.. live the life you want to, be the person you want to, let no one ever put you down and mock what you believe in. BE YOUR OWN BOSS.

Put yo head up high! =D

im singing in the rain~
im singing in the rain!
time is going fast
live it like there is no tomorrow =D

dreiw

I kniht kcab won, dna I ezilaer taht I saw a loof, tub won tsaelta mi gnizilaer ti htiw on sterger.



.sp I semitemos hsiw ew tuognah erom! i ssim uoy stol=]

Harmonize.

Live pass the limit line. Many people will tell you to abandon your life, which they say it will never be as great as there's. That's complete bullshit, I learned my lessons from teachers that did not even know they can teach. That's right folks understand the world, and maybe we can puzzle out the problems that are thrown at us. People that brings you problems, I say drop them. Drop them in a pit, where you can no longer sense them. Life is truly short, but beautiful. Will you want happy memories or devastating ones? It's your life, you decide.
Won't it be great if our lives are like a fairytale? It can be a fairytale if we put our minds to it. No one can stop us if we work together, to pull each other up when things are down. To make one happy, while the other is sad. To live life to the fullest, being a teacher and a student. Life is like heaven or hell, it matters what you do and what you don't do.
Personally speaking, seeing all the downed faces full of remorse. Thinking to themselves I should have done this, I should have done that. Why didn't you do it before? Was anyone stopping you? If yes, then how come you couldn't over come it? If no, why not?. Now you are the one feeling regrets and ashamed that your life is boring, who cares if you life was boring to you, at least you figured it out, now go make your life better with ease.

100 post!

no mind games... just the truth!

all these things falling down, crushing a blow to my head.. making me think, making me wonder, and also making stronger, finally subsided. Working where i wanted everything to be, Glad i didnt give up and didnt even consider of giving up. =] happy o' me happy o' me . wassup with it ! im the boss !:D

drafted

drafted

the rain.

mamamakayla!

kahootie patootie katana!

back to reality, from soul to soul.

close your eyes and make a wish!


your stupid because it feels like even though u said i have you, it still feels like i have to try so much just to be the best boyfriend i can. It's weird because it feels like to me you arent even showing affection. I made promises and i will keep them no matter how hard it will be. Your head is stuck in the world of the past where you think that you cant trust or have hope for anyone, but that's just being hard headed. The past is the past and now your in the present, forget what has happened to you and look for the new... trust me, if i havent thought about this enough, i wouldve told you im sorry and just move on. But i did think about it, and i hate thinking but i felt like i had to. To see if i was true to you are just fake. but i know i am true and what ever i say ill keep on going till it crashes me down. I'm really trying to be a boy friend as best as i can, not even pushing you away, but to keep you as close to me as possible.


#old me.
dont like clingy girls
dont like girls that calls me alot.
gets bored easily.
dont ever start a convo and just leave them alone
dont care
let them do whateva they want.
dont even care where they are .
dont ever call them

#new me the one with you.
I want you to be clingy
i want you to pull me out of my friends
i want you to be with me everywhere i go
i want you to start making conversations with me
i want you to smile all the time
i care where you are and what you do
i want you to call me out of no where for no reason
i want you to be close to me and know everything about me
i want you to always be there for me as i am always there for you
i want you to try your best and be happy
I want you to make fun of me for stupid things i do/ and also i will do the same for you
i want you to fully trust me that no matter what happens you will know ill be there.
i want to protect you with everything i can
i want to just be yours~.
this is what i want from you and be for you. stupid.

Stop

influencing me! I don't want to think about the future, it is too stressful and wayy too troublesome for my time. I dont give a fuck about it so leave me alone. People dont realize that they overthink and in the end it all goes down hill. If you think too much you wont even know that ur not enjoying ur life right now. SO stop fucking thinking and just live life. Who gives a fuck about the future when you hve the present. If she and i dont make it then we dont, if we get married then we do. Who gives a fuck in the end ill be ready =] Now go have fun and stop tlaking =}

rain= gewd sleep =D YAY!

rewhuigajjisgayasfuckjegwagiojwajh

hi my name is frank tsaur my favorite color is green, i am 17 years old and my birthday is on september 14th. I am smarter then a neanderthal. My favorite movie is click. my favorite numbers are 6 and/or 8 cuz yea they look better then 7. i have allergies nd asthma nd its annoying as fuck. but it doenst matter. Um i get hot alot nd i am fat. i am short 5'6? 5'7? either one. I have a big bro and 2 lilttle sisters. i have the bvest family ever. I have another borther named jeric. Hes gay as fuck but idgaf. right now i am thinking about someone that i saw today. nd like she looked soooooooo pretty when she was walking alone the oppoiste way of me! nd like i looked at her for a second nd didnt know who it was. then i looked again ndall i could do is smile and wave:) wkghopaekhpokehop shes so cute. okay anyways i have a son, his name is lucky. He is a maltese. Oh i got rejected for like the first time yesturday. pretty sad shit! um yea okay now its jerics turn. go ahead brotha.~~~~~~~


hi my name is jeric joel devela and my favorite color is green, i am 17 years old and my birthday is on march 19th. I am wayy smarter then a geek/nerd. My favorite movie is Gangster high/ my sassy girl. My favorite numba is, well as you can see only faggots have favorite numbers but if i had a favorite number it would be 0, because it goes round and round. I dont have any allergies nor i have asthma, I am short, even though i am half black, kinda sad huh =[ and i have 2 brothers and one sister. I like to read, sometimes, when i got nothing else to do. I like to work out because i dont want to get fat like ^^. I like to play games alot and I am really nerdy and geeky. I like music( anything). I like sports because i can beat ^^ at anything. I was born in the philippines and I was raised by my 4 grandparents in Manila, p.i. I went pre school in the p.i but i got expelled for punching someone in the face and jumping off the sea saw and he fell on his face and broke his nose. I have a brother name frank and he always think he gets rejected or the girl doesnt like him because he is a neanderthal. But he doesnt know she does like him, SHE EVEN THINKS HE HAS A CUTE SMILE =B. I have A dumbass, stupid, funny,boring, wierd, fatass, and a cute/pretty/sweet girlfriend =] That i like very very much. and I want you to know.... ur fat as fuck ok ! EC>EH I WIN

`````````````````````````````````````````````
okay anyways back to frank: I forgot to mention a few details about myself, i am taiwanese, i am fat, i hate all sports. my mile time was 15 mins which isnt as bad as it sounds. I can say this tho, i will pwn the shit outta him at anything including dota. i was born here in the USA, not sure where tho prob texas. The kinda music i like are oldies, nd like old rap. i never got expelled for punching anyone. you gotta be slick wit it nigga! jk anyways um stfu i know whats tru nd wats not nd whats not true is she doesnt wkgoliwrpohkeaohpk me! but its coo cuz like um fuck idk i hate you. kay well i hate working out but i must start cuz i am getting fat again 146?!?!?! WTF IS THAT i was 140 like last last week. unless its just unfinished shit!=D but um yea. i wanna be a chef when i grow up. kinda gay but i really wanna be a chef. i hate people who like copy anything i do it annoys the shit outta me. i love eatting everything except veggies. & fruit. yesturday i got a court thingy that says if i dont go to court or pay the bail(564$) imma get arrested. but i paid my fine already so im like wtf?!?! nd okay um jj is retarded he thinks hes all cool cuz hes so good at singing and dancing and flirting:) jk! i have alota dreams when i sleep. the dreams are what i wish for like everyday. nd like its really annoying cuz i know its not gonna happen. oawjgawjgo jogjawoejkgoiwajkh kay um anyways my only wish now is to like be able to like talk to someone at school nd everything without everyone being next to me, it makes me like 10x more shy! but whatever that day prob wont come cuz that person is shy too? or she doesnt wanna talkt o me but still idk. gosh just a wish! bye.

ps. ill let jj play his lil immature games on his own. cuz i know what he said "EC>EH" isnt true! so whatever say whatchu want mr half-nigga.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-jeric
Gosh gosh. Well im really fillipino and well im 131 pounds Holy moley guacamole did i get fat/skinny at the same time. WOWZERS. I like to sleep/eat/do nothing alot. I like the adrenaline pumping things we do. AND run Just to let you know i think justin needs to join us all the time... JK! WOW DONT BE MEAN... I get rumors about me all the time, OH wellz that means they have alot of time in there hands and im really kewl heheh =D. ALot of people died in my life and left me in tears so fuck that shit- i only trust the poeple who i want to trust. I have william justin nick, rubio,brandyn, frank as brothers and chris park, isaiah bongalong, and malcolm as best friends. I never cried since 5th grade and yap. Wateves =] AND i really like to smile because when people see's you smile they cant help but smile back right unless they some gothic chick or someshit. haha When i really like someone i get really shy =[ but its getting better i think =] YAP i MET THE person I really do love =] Me= literally one month WOW.. To be this sure that i love her so much, oh mama . Watta keeper. not scared any more . If she kills me then she kills me i cant do nothing about it but just to be happy =] I want to move to japan and see the views all over the world. I think they are pretty. Japan is so dope too! . I dont really care about school, i just want to be happy and just have fun. yea sure school gives u memories but it also can give u bad memories, with all these nonsense dramas that we dont need. I think ima die when im 26 or younger but ITS sall good i had the time of my life. NO regrets No think backs. hey you. Lets make our life the best = try your best! =]

hit me with the sweet potato pie.

mang, im sooo effing funny =D hahahahh . blogging everday.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

I can't hear you? what, what? what'd you say? hey, lecture me all you want how it might not last. idgaf. My life, not yours. live your own because you have so much time in your hands to get in to other peoples lives that dont care bout what you say. my life, im the boss. your life your the boss. Keep it that way. nigger.


=D

you make my high go down.

Damn, why is everyone dieing these days? "Sleep when your dead!" "smile now, cry later" "Try to find meaning in your life" I give good advice but can I follow them? I hide in the shadows wondering when someone will find me, I'm alone when everyone is around me. I can't stand up when people are trying to help me. In my life I realize I will always be alone, no matter how much one person tries. In the end the person I need to help is me. What do I see? All I see really is darkness and shadows that never ends, all screaming and screeching with the voices of people dieing, but no matter I still put a smile on my face, with out a doubt. Ignoring all the possibilities that can happen and always imagining the impossible possible. Is this how I should really live? Lets find out. Make your self happy first before you try to make someone else happy.



~jeric joel devela

closing in

take a deep breath, close your eyes and make a wish, pray and hope that it'll come true. Life's can be at it's best or at it's worst, you're the only one that can make the choice. believe or don't believe? How much have we change, remember the things we used to do, while we lay down on a top of a hill, underneath a tree, while we look at the clouds? 12 years has passed since we first said hello, so tell me have we changed? Have we changed for the better or for the worst? We still both smile just like before... Smile for your neighbor, smile for your friend, and especially smile for the people you care about. Laugh while we role play the power rangers, Talk about girls in the phone till' 4, eat everything we can, sleep over and wrestle and make all of our parents irritated. Be the best friends we can be. Smile and remember the past and the present and think how we can make our future better =]. We used to live our life in heart pumping "adrenaline status." Always running, fighting, and always making trouble. Even though sometimes we went overboard at least we never spilled on each other, we were always there. Even though were near each other, it feels like were no where in sight. What happened to lets always be there even when we grow old? it feels like I'm the only one communicating with everyone in the 4 of us. If this is our future then let it be.
1.M=owe me a ferrari.
2.I=thanks for making me believe in god again.
3.C=thanks for still being there haha fag.

SEE?

can you really see?
do you really see?
or you dont want to see?
hurry the fuck up and choose mo fucka.

have a good day

jump or not to jump?

"don't get too attached to something you love, because it might not love you back." I hope that is not true =[ when i finally found something I adore!
\\\
SENIOR YEAR ALMOST COMING TO AN END!!! OMFG! time to make trouble =]

What happened?

Aren't I the one suppose to be hurting our family, while you stay and watch over us? What the fuck happened to you? You used to be so great and now your just hurting everyone around you. You made her cry and your not even here anymore. What's up with that? Give me a reason what has happened in your life and I will try and understand. But, don't even say that I didn't try when you asked for money I gave you 400$ no matter how much it is, Ill try to get it for you. That's what brothers are for right? But instead of using that money for something productive, what do you do? OH YEA! DRUGS! you can go fuck yourself homie. I don't care how much money I gave you, but dont you get it? We miss you, the old you, not the new you. You made our mom cry, I haven't seen her cry since I made her cry in 6th grade. (im sorry) Didn't you know if you were here right now, we would've all graduated together? Joyce, you and me. But you always had to leave then come back, leave then come back. I kept telling you mang. Dump that wretched witch, coz shes all in for your shit and she's just a bitch. But whatever happens happens, one thing is though. I miss you.


2. Dreams. I'm getting so many lately!? is it a sign? because often i have dreams most of them comes true in a way. Some of my dreams are great, but some are just plain bleh. Hope for the best and cheaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyah =]

-jeric joel mofucking devela

Its not a fairytale

People comes and goes, I hope you'll stay. Trust/Commitment/happiness/teamwork! GO GO POWER RANGERS! K serious time. I am so sorry for everything that has happened and what is happening in this very moment. I'm trying to open up to you and trust you no matter how much work it will be. I do get jealous, I do get sad, I do get worried, and especially I do care. If you don't have those things you aren't human right? But sometimes it's just hard to show feelings for someone you truly care about. No matter how hard or how long it will be I'll try to be there, wait.. it's I'll be there no matter what. I'm trying really hard, and I am sorry if we bump in to speed bumps or stop signs. I chose to be with you and no one else. I don't look at other people like how I look at you. Do you really think others can make me happy? exactly! They can not. If you think they can you are dumb in the membrane. I'll try my hardest to make you happy, but realize that I am just an ordinary dumb boy. Please, Please, Please try your hardest and don't be afraid to bother me or talk to me. I know how I feel and you know it too. BTW didn't your teacher ever tell you if you try hard in the end you will be happy?


ps. YOU SAY IM MEAN? LOOK WTF you DID sheesh. btw fixed my photobucket!

i wanna go deep deep deep!

I grew up, I settled down, my life is going straight! how bout yours?

do watever you like kn33grow

Look what you done to me.
Look what happened to you.
I know what i'm doing and I'm still going strong.
Have you seen yourself? You changed, now your gone, far far away.
I'm living my life
Are you living yours?
I know I miss you sometimes, but not that much.
Your memories are still with me, painful but sad.
Sometimes I wish they were all gone.
I tried to help you, but you deceived me.
I tried so hard, but you drifted so far away.
You deceived you friends, family, and even me.
Now all i say is go fuck your self.
I'm still happy where I am and how I am doing.
are you happy with your life?
No, your life is all jumbled up and disconfigured.
Even though you want to change
YOU CANT.
You CANT.

obama mama

Life is gewd! but i was wondering why we never ask something when life is going so well, but when it isnt were praying and wishing to make it better? I say go out there and make it better yourself, if you want it, go get it simple as that. If you fail at it, then you fail, you cant change the past, but you can make a better future. We don't know whats gonna happen after we die, we wont know if anyone is up there or its just scientifical. But i never really really thought about it till today. I thought i lived my life spontaneously, but surprising to me, its not even worth remembering. I need to have more fun! with friends and family and e=mc2! In the future i want to see,laugh,and learn what i did in the past that was stupid or just darn kewl! My life without the people i care about will be nothing. SO thanks!

great

lifes really great! its breathtaking, adrenaline pumping, and really really fun =D learn something new everday with brothers . watched wanted and angelina jolie is hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwt hahah. anyways i dont know hwat to blog about because i d k

but cantchu see that im trying missay?=] dont doubt or deny because i know im going all out. <-- LOL

R_S_U_L_I_N_S

bonding time with the brothers. Today was a really gewd day. Played Dota =] they all got mad coz im gewd as fuck =]!! HELLLLLLL YA but then 3 hours later went to cue, and frank hid and i was just out side, while they try to look for him. Then he was like lets run and hide! so i ran with him, IT WAS SOO FUN =] everyones all trying to look for us and what not, and then when they see us we run and they chase! full of screams and dodging bullets(people).We ran and hid for 3 hours! and then me and frank sat in the car and we talked bout the E's. I Tell him everything! i know that forsure, but not every everything. I am trying, i mean I am really trying my hardest. Going out of my way just to see you once or just to get a hi!. I never tried tis hard before and its really wierd and complicated to me, because you are so different! I'm never letting go just to let you know! resolution is on its way tho!

Chubby chaser?!

WAHT SAWP WITH THE FACE YOUR MAKING PUNK!!. jk

anyways. WHAT can i SAY im a CHUBBY chaser! point the fact . glad.=]

city lights.

Today was a pretty good day. Debut practice aint hard because i got it all straightened out! its almost here, so prepare! after justin the driver that will kill my life drove me, cindy, melissa, nick, and william. I told him to go to the view,(hillside). They're were all like WOW jayjay! i love you thanks for bringing me here... i know im kewl right? hahah =] but thats my favorite view where you can see every citty to L.A to anaheim, because it has a 360 degrees turnaround. Last time i sat there for five hours just looking at the lights.

then i went home and i put on my pajies and then they said they were comming over. I was like shieeeeeeeeet, im still on my pajamas! but hey it was a cute pajama HAHA

today was great.

k night guys.
ps. you'll like the view trust the bo$$ lol jk
-jeric joel devela.

walking with out nothing

I know both of us could've gave up easy as pie... but no we didn't, and im glad we didn't because you make me smile and be happy even if i say hi or if i just see you for one second. I'm trying my hardest, for me and and for you(if youwant!). I care about you alot and i know i aint ever thinking back or thinking twice about how i feel about you! Your great in every way(you eat too much, You smell,your fat, and you only 5 words!). I know there will be many bumps and stop signs that will TRY to stop us, but i will promise you, ill take you hand and try to move forward and ignore them. I'll tryy my best, but promise me to try your best =D




<3 jeric joeldevela !!
e=mc2
fattie
cutes

here with me

today was fun. woke up like any other day(sleep wake up go back to sleep and count in my head then get up lol) in choir it was pretty chill! still owe 86.50$, freaking aye haha, oh wellz. But then in the end she pulled me aside, saying if i should try out for choir. I looked at her in shock with EYES like these 0.0, because she really meant it. but i said no and then she was like you better man tsk tsk. haha pfft.... then school started went on! school was fun in lunch franks sister and friends came up to me coz they had mexicans following them and shiz. but ya i took care of it! im soo kewl =] HAHA jk.. but then in sixth period i got called up.. and i thought it was for my clothes, but it wasnt. It was for what happened in lunch. That stupid kid said i had a knife and said i was gonnna kill him... He also told them i had to meet him after school! man.. if we did met after school i wouldve asked him to buy me an ice cream, that would be dope. But anyways i was gonna get suspended because i threatened to kill him, but mrs hunnington said i was a good boy=] hehe lifesaver right there. But yea yay =] i saw babah! shes a one fat cutieeeeeeeeeeee! hahah jk no no jk about the jk about the jk... but shes dope=] then i saw the kid again.. and i saw him tlaking to some poeple i know so i went up to them and he started saying sorry and i respect you and shit... man! man up! haha then we went to emilys school to get her hw because she was sick.. and thne life plaza which was boring! then ate stinky nasty tofu.. but i still ate it. then BANIDA ROWLAND HEIGHTS PARK soo funn we stayed there forever soo freaking fun! man. then nicks house which his brother cried alot =[ because we kept killing him in super smash.

haha im the boss btw.. glc said I aint the boss of the school they are=] so that means im almost the boss! lol<<<<<>>>>>


pros.
1.emilys a cutie
2.choir tryout? maybe.
3.Almost the boss!.
4.im kewl
5. No suspension =]
6. rowland heights park.
7.bonding time with the brothers.
8. free chickfilet food=]
9.Funday.
10 im da boss/im kewl =D

cons.
1. almost the boss =[ HAHA!
2.no tattoos today.
3.life was boring.
4. nicks brother crying.
5.almost suspended.
6. my thumb bled.
7. STINK FEREAKING tofu that makes ur breath smells for days. and taste like dookie.
'8. nick left us.
9. almost threw up coz of the spinny winny.
10. man.... haha

brothers!

It feel's good, not going to check ups for blood test, getting dizzy, and not knowing what the fuck im doing. =] But, Thanks God... I really really appreciate that your here with me, even though i can't see you, feel you, or even hear you. I have faith, I really do. I believe that you're up there looking after everyone that needs your help. I can't believe I faded away from you before and how I was losing you from the very start. I'm Sorry for what I am and what I have become. I'm glad that everything has happened because if it didn't i wouldn't have become the person i am now.!


1. Thanks' brother you are great, but gay, but great!!! I know you look out for me and tell me I'm doing something wrong. Yea its pretty kewl and shit.. It was pretty hard for me to get used to too.. but now i know you'll always be there for me no matter what! Don't worry ill be here for you too.

2. WOW yay you said yes!? =] I was scared and everything too AHHA! but yeap I know that I'm stupid and always trying to act dumb! We also always try to change the subject on each other.. BUt i think it's time to grow up and face the truth. Thank you, You made me grow in a way that i know i can face anything i wanted. I'm sorry for letting us fade away, because i was scared. But now im stronger than ever. Thank you

love both of you.

lets make great memories and just live our life to the fullest. Then when we get old we'll all just laugh about our past =D

fears.
1. SPiDERS
2. GROWING OLD.
3.SPIDERS OMFG.
4.Losing someone you love.

the way i am

I Like to Sleep.
I like to eat.(alot)
I'm scared of spiders.
I'm really blind.
I hate olives.
I am a trouble maker.
I talk alot.
I have a brother frank.
I dance anywhere and everywhere i go.
I dont really get sad.
I always smile.
I'm practically always laughing.
I hate to drive.
I dont have road rage.
I say stupid not really funny jokes.(but to me they are funny! what now sons)
I want to but i dont.
I live my life to the fullest.

realize the poing of trust.

I realized now, I was trying to hide from it all along... I'm Bad with commitment,trust, and faith. I am trying to fix the things that i've done wrong, proving to myself that i can correct it by myself. I pulled my self in to a hole where it might be bigger then the earth itself. Will people leave or will people stay? it's not my choice its yours.


love jeric joel devela.

p.s YAY!

oh fine/ 0-9

I know what I did in the past years wasn't so great, but now I finally realize that there's so much more meaning to life =D Family,friends, and my brothers. I would put up My new year's resolutions, but heck do they ever even work? I mean do I even have enough motivation to keep it going? nope i dont think so! I rather just make my self a better person and see how much i improve! =D But thanks to 08" You finally realize what are important and what is not in your life!

You You You, thanks for being there and sticking around! I appreciate the things you do and why your there! I know its hard but i love you lots.
jeric joel devela Smiles.